The tale of the deforestation of my scalp begins (the copious amounts of hair don’t fall far from the family tree) …
Double-Helix: the structure of nucleic acid which Watson and Crick discovered in 1952. Judging by the patterns of hair-loss-patterns throughout my lineage, I’ve got my great-grandfather’s genes in terms of baldness, but also longevity. What I’m dealing with: my live-and-kicking great-grandfather was born 30 years before, and went bald 5 years prior to, the discovery of DNA.
M*A*S*H: the TV show that ran from 1972 to 1983. (My great-grandfather watched years of syndicated re-runs. What else to do when your genes let you outlive your friends?)
Milwaukee’s Best: the brand of beer my great-grandfather let me sip when I was 5, whilst I sat on his lap watching M*A*S*H re-runs.
God’s Sick Joke: a prank the Greek trickster Hermes wouldn’t have the gall to propagate: to strike me bald at 26, with 70 more years to go, just like my forefather. That this forefather, a widower and now a nonagenarian, has again taken up dating, further illuminates the unique ilk of God’s humor.
I am disconcerted to the nines. I decide to pop open a beer and watch some TV…
(PHOTO: Therein lies the problem. Public domain.)
